Commentary by Wayne Lee
Some days you’re the fire hydrant and some days you’re the dog. Lately I’ve been the hydrant, and it hasn’t been any fun. At least the dog has the ability to move on to the next hydrant, and I have recently experienced my share of canine-like encounters.
My Valentine’s Day weekend began very appropriately on Friday the 13th. My calendar, which I set up weeks in advance, showed the usual Friday night high school basketball games. So, I geared up and headed out to cover roughly four hours of high school hoops. Imagine my surprise finding a dark parking lot and an empty gym. A quick check of the OSAA website showed the games were moved up a day and had already been played.
Now as the local guy, one would think I would be kept in the loop, but you would be wrong. I can’t count the number of times school officials have said to me, “oh yeah, we should have told you about that.” And that covers way more than just athletics. However, it has been getting better. Progress, however slow, is still progress.
In any event, Valentine’s Day arrived as did the Eagle Point Senior Center benefit Spaghetti Dinner held to raise money to replace old chairs in the facility. Rumor has it they raised $850 towards their goal to purchase 40 chairs for the building. (Full disclosure, I’m on their Board of Directors.) Go seniors!
The weather was cooperative enough to provide some great incoming storm clouds, so I headed to my favorite vista where the two water towers are located off Riley Rd. above the VA Cemetery. I parked Da Beast, got out my camera, and surveyed the scene. To my amazement, a herd of young deer wandered by right below me. I fired off a few shots and decided to call it a day. It was already cold when I arrived and it was only getting colder. However, that didn’t stop me from heading south on Riley down that great big hill towards Vista Park Dr. Where I hit 35 mph without using any power.
Now I should note that I have always been susceptible to the flu, specifically any stomach flu virus, ever since I was a young child. By Sunday night, the familiar symptoms were beginning to manifest. Looking back, it might have been something out of my refrigerator. It could have been my removing my glove to shake hands with an unprotected hand. It could be any number of human-to-human contacts while I conducted my daily business.
Anyway, I immediately switched to just water after a sip of soda pop tried to come back up. The next 48 hours were spent alternating from shivering cold to sweating as if I just ran a marathon.
Further complicating matters was the fact I required serious bedrest, I neglected to charge one cell phone, and the newer cell phone has the buttons on the wrong side. By simply grabbing it, I silenced the ringer. Unable to reach me, my esteemed colleague was about ready to call for a welfare check to verify signs of life. While I might have welcomed death sometime during those 48 hours, I was very much alive and kicking, even if only between bouts of tortured sleep.
Fortunately, I recovered in time to cover two basketball games and a planning commission meeting all on the same night. But wait, it gets better. After that down time, I desperately needed to catch up on housework, and a top priority was the laundry. Summoning what little strength I had, I stripped the bedding and gathered up all remaining washables and headed to the laundry room.
Now the laundry room in my apartment complex has been “updated” with modern technology, which just means more ways for things to go wrong. It also allows the company not to collect quarters but requires residents to set up an internet account with a minimum of $25 that allows us to scan a QR code to operate a washer and/or dryer, all at a higher cost.
I hauled my two loads of laundry from my humble abode, loaded up the washers with soap and scanned the QR codes. The result was nothing. The machines would not start. My account shows they are sitting on $28 of my money I can’t use to clean my soiled clothing. After several tries and quite a few expletives, I found an 800 number to call and fortunately was connected to an actual human rather quickly. Unfortunately, after a few clicks of his magic keyboard I was told the “electronics” on the machines were down and they would need to send out a technician…eventually.
I had to pull out all the dirty laundry and laundry soap and haul it all of it back home to face a bed with no bedding feeling tired, frustrated, and angry. What I failed to notice was management was obviously aware of the problem because all the metal plates covering the coin slots were gone and quarters were back in vogue.
But the universe wasn’t done with me just yet. I received an email from my bank with a “fraud alert” that my debit card was charged more than $35 for some movie purchase I never made. I had to cancel the card and wait “eight to nine business days” for a replacement to be mailed. That’s when the bank tried to sign me up for a credit card I could use in the meantime. A better idea is to switch to a bank that can issue me a new card in a matter of minutes. I don’t want a credit card. I don’t need a credit card. If I can’t pay for something, chances are good I don’t really need it
So, I gave up. I’m sleeping on the couch tonight, resigned to my status as a human fire hydrant, just waiting for the next dog to come along and rain on my parade. Chances are it won’t be a very long wait.
