Commentary by Wayne Lee
Everyone has a fish story to tell, and mine is uniquely original. I was living alone in a one-bedroom apartment on the shore of Clear Lake in California. Specifically, Lakeport, Calif. I had been hired as the sports editor for a three-section, bi-weekly newspaper, the Lake County Record-Bee and I was responsible for the eight-page sports section.
During the end of the winter season in the early 1980’s we were hit by two weeks of nearly non-stop rain which was causing some serious “cabin fever” after being stuck indoors for so long. When the sun finally reappeared, a friend of mine who grew up in the area called and wanted to get outdoors for a round of disc golf.
I should note that “Steady” Ed Headrick, founder of the Professional Disc Golf Association and the man who made the Frisbee famous, lived just 10 miles down the highway. Retired from Wham-O toys, he designed and built a beautiful 18-hole course next to the local reservoir, but that’s a story for another day.
So, my friend and I are heading to the course when he tells me, “The hitch are running right now.” I asked, “What’s a hitch?” He explained it was a type of fish, and I scoffed at him. I had never seen any fish in that creek ever and he told me to pull over, which I did.
Sure enough, the creek was teaming with literally thousands of little silver fish all swimming upstream. I was amazed to say the least. We noticed one of the fish was struggling, swimming on its side. Among all the garbage and debris along the bank was a large, white paint bucket that had a few silver dollar-sized holes burned through it.
We put the bucket in the water and placed the little fish in the bucket. The plan was to give the little guy a break by not having to struggle against the swiftly moving current. That was when the local Fish and Game officer rolled up and asked what we were doing. We explained our plan and that’s when he asked for my identification.
He must have been as bored as we had been because the next thing I know is he was handing me a citation for fishing without a license…by hand. He then took the fish and put it in a plastic evidence bag, cementing its demise.
So, off to court I went where I was told this was not a mere citation but a criminal offense, and I needed to talk to the public defender. After hearing my story, he explained my options (basically plead guilty or take it to trial) and told me I could handle this on my own. So I did.
I requested and received a jury trial which included having my friend served a subpoena to appear as my sole witness, which at least got him off work of an afternoon. After presenting my case, the Assistant District Attorney put the Fish and Game Officer on the stand and he presented the little, dead, frozen fish as Exhibit A. In my closing argument I explained that not only were we not “fishing” by any definition of the term but that the fish was alive and swimming before the officer snatched it out of the water and killed it.
The judge called for a lunch break before the jury would deliberate my fate. Ironically, on the way back from lunch I ended up on the elevator with the judge overseeing my trial. I knew we couldn’t talk about the case, but it was then I noticed the elevator permit at the county courthouse had expired more than a year ago. I chuckled and said out loud, “I wonder what the fine is for an expired elevator permit?”
In any event, court resumed, the jury deliberated and much laughing could be heard from behind closed doors. I was hoping they also could see the ridiculousness of this entire situation. However, when they came out, they pronounced me, “guilty as charged.” But we weren’t done just yet.
As the judge polled the jurors, several said they didn’t believe I was engaged in fishing but did have a captured fish. The judge sent the jury back, instructing them my motivation was not the question. It was whether or not I “caught” by hand without a fishing license. After more laughter from the jury room, they stuck with the guilty verdict, and I was fined $45.
I couldn’t help but think what a tremendous waste of time and taxpayer dollars just to collect 45 bucks. When you factor in the court costs including issuing a subpoena and impaneling a jury as well as the staff time and the Fish and Game guy getting a paid day off to present his dead, frozen fish, my $45 was just a drop in the bucket, all in the name of getting a conviction no matter how ridiculous.
So there you have it, the little, tiny fish that turned into a whopper of a fish story.
Note: The Clear Lake hitch is a large freshwater minnow found only in Northern California’s Clear Lake watershed, including Clear Lake, Blue Lakes and Thurston Lake. Jan. 25, 2025 (long after Wayne’s fishing story) the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service proposed to list the Clear Lake hitch as threatened under the Endangered Species Act.
